If My Hair Could Talk

  1. Today’s motion being put forward: Bringing back the cow’s lick from 1994 for the interview this morning. All those in favour?
  2. Can we get everyone in the front to stay stuck to the lips today. She’s wearing lip gloss
  3. The shampoo for the last few weeks has been working well but this morning let’s be greasy after the shower for no reason.
  4. You can apply as much heat as you want you can’t curl me bitch.
  5. Today’s arts and crafts activity is creating dandruff at the front of the crown. Let’s make this special
  6. I think we are all pissed she didn’t bother to wash us today. Let’s snap that bobbin. She doesn’t have another one.
  7. Shout out today to those we lost mid shower to the arse crack
  8. Attention all: – She’s wearing a sequins top tonight so there be fatalities around 2am. Buddy up
  9. It’s scarf season so let’s make sure to bring plenty of matting to the back of the head.
  10. Can someone fall into the soup there to try and stop her bloody inhaling it, please.


  1. That man keeps leaning on us all the time. Can we whip him in the face the next opportunity we get?
  2. News in we are all getting cut today. Make it your business to look shit afterwards as a form of protest.
  3. Oh please! What new hell is this? She’s trying to do a French plait. Layers can we do something here?
  4. Good few of us heading to the plug hole today just to make her think she’s experiencing female pattern baldness. It’ll gas- you coming?
  5. Can’t be bother with today #stucktotheheadday
  6. This wedding is exhausting can we call time on the bouncy curls at 8pm folks.
  7. A warm welcome to the 5 greys that joined the team last night.
  8. She had the absolute cheek to towel dry us today. Code red alert now been issued to frizz, fuzziness and anything else. Be creative.
  9. Congratulations are in order! Completely unexpected arrival of some wispy baby hairs this morning.  They are resting predominately around the forehead So cute.
  10. P.A.R.T.Y it’s wild and windy out there today. Let’s get messed up!! Woo Hoo!!

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