- Today’s motion being put forward: Bringing back the cow’s lick from 1994 for the interview this morning. All those in favour?
- Can we get everyone in the front to stay stuck to the lips today. She’s wearing lip gloss
- The shampoo for the last few weeks has been working well but this morning let’s be greasy after the shower for no reason.
- You can apply as much heat as you want you can’t curl me bitch.
- Today’s arts and crafts activity is creating dandruff at the front of the crown. Let’s make this special
- I think we are all pissed she didn’t bother to wash us today. Let’s snap that bobbin. She doesn’t have another one.
- Shout out today to those we lost mid shower to the arse crack
- Attention all: – She’s wearing a sequins top tonight so there be fatalities around 2am. Buddy up
- It’s scarf season so let’s make sure to bring plenty of matting to the back of the head.
- Can someone fall into the soup there to try and stop her bloody inhaling it, please.
- That man keeps leaning on us all the time. Can we whip him in the face the next opportunity we get?
- News in we are all getting cut today. Make it your business to look shit afterwards as a form of protest.
- Oh please! What new hell is this? She’s trying to do a French plait. Layers can we do something here?
- Good few of us heading to the plug hole today just to make her think she’s experiencing female pattern baldness. It’ll gas- you coming?
- Can’t be bother with today #stucktotheheadday
- This wedding is exhausting can we call time on the bouncy curls at 8pm folks.
- A warm welcome to the 5 greys that joined the team last night.
- She had the absolute cheek to towel dry us today. Code red alert now been issued to frizz, fuzziness and anything else. Be creative.
- Congratulations are in order! Completely unexpected arrival of some wispy baby hairs this morning. They are resting predominately around the forehead So cute.
- P.A.R.T.Y it’s wild and windy out there today. Let’s get messed up!! Woo Hoo!!
emma doran comedian 