1.Opening windows is a must now to let a bit of air circulate
2.Likewise you know where the different drafts are coming from and how to deal with them/ who is responsible
3. Didn’t like the new GP because he was a bit young
4.Love talking about clothes being very good quality that you manage to pick up in the sale
5.Always have some sort of ailment on the go
6.Anyone 5 years younger than you is a young wan
7.You feel guilty about using the tumble drier
8.‘God, love her’ ‘Jesus Christ’ you can’t go a day without the big fella and his son getting a mention
9.Drinking water cures most ailments according to you. If not, you have a bag full of painkillers and the like anyway.
10. They’ve got easter eggs in already, would ya stop!
11.You always have tissues
12.You wouldn’t dream of throwing leftovers in the bin. Sure, they’ll do for tomorrow
13.Lie about your fondness of drink. ‘The odd G&T’
14.Won’t buy a jacket if there’s no heat in it
15.No problem making complaints in shop or restaurant if the service isn’t cutting it, thank you very much
16.Evenings consist of The Soaps and phone calls
17.Don’t like the young wan in the hairdressers doing your hair
18.‘Go out with my hair wet?’ are you mad?!
19. Are aware of other people looking very pale or run down but will tell them they look great to their face
20. Love an auld list
emma doran comedian 